Peaceful squirrels

I always Hear people say that they have accepted Heavenly Fathers timing. That they know, he knows better than them and they have accepted it. In many ways I always thought I had. Running last night I found for the first time that my mind has been quiet. I had been in over drive the past little bit and was having a hard time isolating my thoughts. I normally push forward with things, over think and analyze things till they are distorted and it's hard to recognize what the first thought was, and what the truth is. Which makes me know that for the first time in my life I have truly accepted Heavenly Fathers timing. I've been saying it for a while and he and I have had our one on ones. But right now I can feel the peace of mind and settle calm in my life. 
I know this doesn't mean I won't have heart brakes, disappointments or make the wrong choices, but I think that with the acceptance that all of this is up to him, it is easier to say that, that wasn't the plan for me or the yup I messed up. To be able to see the blessing through the closed door and to deal with the hurt a little bit easier and move on with my head up. I can push forward, appreciate the blessings I have and know there is something better in store for me, I just have to have patience and trust in the Lord.

Louisiana

Fun quick trip to Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

 Flying in. I forgot how cool it is to fly!

 Poor boy sandwiches, The Best in New Orleans (so I was told). They were to die for...a total this is why I run shout out. YUM! See the one on the bottom? Yeah its filled with fried shrimp- seriously who thinks of these things? 

 New Orleans, Very cool city. Love the culture, street vendors and artists. Full of history and cool architecture.

 Can't remember what these little powder sugar covered fried pieces of heaven are called... But they were so good. This is also why I run :) Note: the cute tour guide-

 Mississippi River. So pretty and peaceful. I thought the rock stacking was pretty cool too. Who does these things? like hey I should go stack some rocks, it will be awesome!

Haunted Plantation! Old and very creepy. Lots of murders and strange happenings here. Apparently you can stay the night. They said that there are on average 30 people a month that leave screaming in the middle of the night and that there hasn't been one person that has stayed the night and didn't have interaction with the other side!

Home ward bound. How beautiful is that?

Had a great trip. Lots of fun. I'm glad I took the chance and flew out there.

Rim 2 Rim

So What did I decide to do at the last minute? The RIM 2 RIM! Little did I know that the first mile and a half was up 6% grade out of the canyon! It is one of the few things in life you tough out and never regret.
It was a fun run and I'm adding it to the list for next year. 7.5 miles out of the canyon over the bridge back down the canyon thru the golf course and then up another small hill to the finish line.
Grateful I had my big sister there to run with. She is one that inspires me the most!

September squirrel

I have always firmly believed that children pick us for parents. I use to strongly believe I picked my mom and dad. Maybe because I was adopted. Who knows. I do know we end up in the homes we are meant to be in. The good, the bad, and the ugly. More than anything else in this world I know that my daughter was meant to be mine. I know that some how she was sent to me. Not only that but I know she was sent to my ex-husband as well. She is incredible. She has taught me more in almost 3 years than I ever have or could learn. My strengths and unfortunately my weaknesses. She has given my the strength I've needed in the past to stand up and opened my eyes to what I really need to adjust and change in my life.

 

I am normally able to randomly throw my squirrels at a friend, but they're currently unavailable so- I wonder, did we know in the pre-existence? Or did we pick as we were coming down? Where there promises made amongst ourselves? That we would help each other in this life? And if so does that mean that we could possibly be looking for our "soul mates"? I have never believed in the concept personally. I've always said that any two (idiots) people could get married and stay that way if both  (idiots) people were putting in the effort.  But hey anything is possible...right? And hey if you are like me, maybe not all of us made promises? So we're just the common folk looking for another idiot to live happily ever after with? :)

I'm in love

This is really why I run.
I haven't really talked about it to anyone. I just obsessively post my runs on FB because it makes me feel a little more accountable.  I use to run to try and out run the shadows in my life, I use to run so I could feel something other than heartbreak, I use to run to place distance between me and the past And now I run because I can see the brighter future and can't wait to get there, I run to feel strong/ healthy. I run because I can. I run to shut off my mind and just enjoy the feeling of being alive.
Tonight I ran farther than I ever have. I stopped because I had to, but could have gone on. I have never been a runner. I joke that I run to eat. But anyone who really knows me knows I will eat no matter what! I love food. My sister says its because I am in love. And the fact is, I am. I am in love with my life, for the first time ever I can say, I like who I am. I have come through great trials that have formed my past, and taught me the lessons I needed. I am far from perfect and have lots to work on. but I am in love with the way I feel. I have always been blessed with people that inspire me.
I use to be surrounded by runners. My oldest sister is a runner and an amazing example to me. The women at my old salon tried to talk me into running a half marathon with them a couple years ago. And a friend from church would always run with me. I never felt the urge or want to run. Its funny how sometimes it really does come down to timing. I am at the point in my life where I am ready to run. I love the challenge, how far can I push myself? It really is a mind over matter thing. Not only did I run far tonight I also conquered the hill. I normally take a turn and avoid it. But for some reason I felt the need to try it out. And guess what, It didn't kill me!

Do we really know what we want?

Who knows what they want? Is what we want realistic? There are so many people out there looking for love, a companion, constant confident, best friend, soul mate. And I wonder out of all the single people what holds us back from success? It's not our time? Maybe our standards are too high? Is there such thing? The right person hasn't come along yet? This person would be perfect, if?
The more guys I talk to and the more girls I talk to I realize this, now don't get me wrong, this is not all cases just the common denominator in people around me. The "good" guys like the "wild" girls and the "bad" boys end up with the "good" girls. and everyone goes in these circles trying to fix or change on another. Why is that? Why don't the bad boys like the wild girls and the good guys stick to the good girls? Wouldn't it make life a little bit easier? 
 I try and make little changes in myself, like add healthy habits to my routine, like mouth wash. I buy a bottle and think I will put it here on the sink where I can see it every morning while I brush my teeth and it will become second nature....WRONG. I forget after a couple of days and there it sits to gather dust... If it is this hard to start a new habit and retrain myself why would I ever think for a minute I could change someone else?
I guess todays squirrel is this, We truly have to be our best selves, and the rest will fall into place.
I would love Mr. Perfect (tall, brunet,amazing sense of humor, honest, good hearted, patent, kind, ect...) to come into my life sweep me off my feet, fall in love me with my daughter and live happily ever after. But realistically that's never going to happen :) and I am good with that. Fairy tales are just that. I want a real man, scratches, bumps and bruises, scars and life experience, some might call that baggage. But its real.
I suppose this is a really long round about saying. No one is going to fall into your lap and be the perfect fit. Besides the perfect fit now and the perfect fit later are two very different things. Look for someone that will grow and change with you. Someone who will bring out the best self you can be. Someone you can exchange battle stories with and just enjoy life with. Because lets face it- Love is a battle field.

Why do we run

Hello 30, good bye summer

I had such high hope and a long bucket list for the summer...but alas the summer has somehow disappeared right in front of me. So I will embrace the cooler weather heading our way.
I have to admit, 30 has been a little rough.

-Compression socks for running
-lactose sensitive
-more acne than I had in high school
-longer recovery times
-longer time for results/ endurance

 I can say that for the first time in my life I ran 9 miles. 9 MILES that is huge for me! For the first time since I've gotten back into running and I signed up for a couple half marathons I feel like I might actually be able to complete one.

So maybe 30 isn't so bad. I can say I never had the drive, or dedication to want to finish a half marathon until now, and between you and me I don't have the interest in a full marathon...those are for the hard core people.  I will also say that I feel good. I look about the same...ok I look exactly the same as I did when I started to run. But I feel like my body is functioning well, and I feel strong. I've been on this rollercoaster called life for so long that I can deal with the ups and downs emotionally and mentally but now- I can take it all on... not that, that is a challenge. I really am enjoying my current slower, reflection lane in life :)

Why Squirrels

There is always a monolog running through my brain, but the most insightful and random ones come  to me when I run.

I run to free my mind.
I run to feel good
I run to eat.

When I run I get to clear my brain of the day to day things. Laundry, Scheduling for work, Dishes, Bills, Grocery Shopping, ect the list goes on and on. For the most part I think of nothing but the feel of the pavement under my feet, and the beat of my music. But there are days my thoughts make sense and I think Yes that is what life is about, that is what I need to work on. I normally post on my daughters blog which is fine but I feel like maybe it's time to brake out on my own... also because I am not techie enough to figure out how to just add a page to hers...oh well. I keep a written journal but I think this will be fun, and maybe enlighten or help others along the same road.